Why Alice is not Tim Burton’s Alice

Even most of the OST smells like a different director

The Dormouse tells The White Rabbit, “You’ve got the wrong Alice,” but you know it’s the right one. The trouble is, by the end of the film, you don’t know if it’s the right Tim Burton. Sure, the characters are great, they are real. The lines sound like Lewis Carroll. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter are dazzling, Anne Hathaway and Stephen Fry a delight. Even the 3D thing (a complete waste of time, if you ask me) works wonderfully at times (like when Alice falls through the rabbit whole).

But it’s just not Tim Burton. There’s no epicness, his imagination seems very limited. It’s as if he lost himself in Underworld and can’t find himself. Sure, he had his own take on Wonderworld but Underworld is not gloomy enough to be considered a Burton product. It’s not quirky enough either. And the music adds to the lack of Burton-ness. A short description: nothing, nothing, crap, nothing, Avril Lavigne.

The official score is bland (why Danny Elfman was on the credits, beats me). But what’s beyond sad is the music inspired by the film. If you thought Avril Lavigne was sinking low, wait until seven. Yes, Tokio Hotel. I forgot to mention, I puked a bit in my mouth between tracks one and seven: Owl City, All Time Low, Metro Station… and Shinedown. For some reason or another All-American Rejects pulled the track off. Which isn’t something I can say about 3OH!3. And then some more blandness with Plain White T’s, Mark Hoppus and Kerli (why, oh, why?).

There are some bands that do it wonderfully: in short, Robert Smith and the last four acts on the cd (Franz Ferdinand, Motion City Soundtrack, Wolfmother and Grace Potter and The Nocturnals). Franz Ferdinand are mostly delicious and Robert Smith’s song is so quirky (both are so-so Burton as a matter of fact) you actually wonder why in the world Tim Burton didn’t ask them to write the whole official score. Go on, just listen to Smith’s Very Good Advice and Franzie’s The Lobster Quadrille. Don’t take my word for it, you’ll believe me anyways after you hear them.

And why weren’t Hatcham Social asked to give permission for their song Jabberwocky to be used on the soundtrack?